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KRAD's Inaccurate Guide to Life
ramblings from a mad fedora'd writer
kradical
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President Lyndon B. Johnson established the Warren Commission to investigate the assassination of JFK (1963)


SATCHEL'S ADVICE

The legendary baseball pitcher Leroy "Satchel" Paige (1906?-82) was famed as much for his fast wit as his fastballs. He played in over 2,500 games and notched up more than 50 no-hitters. In 1948 Paige was the first black pitcher in the American League, and in 1971 he made history as the first "Negro League" player to be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. He printed the following advice to fans on the back of his autograph cards:

SIX RULES FOR A HAPPY LIFE
Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood.
If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.
Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.
Go very lightly on vices such as carrying on in society. The social ramble ain't restful.
Avoid running at all times.
Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.


It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

P.G. Wodehouse

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Another Cup of Coffee" by Cowboy Mouth

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NASA launched the Mariner IV probe to perform the first close fly-by of Mars (1964)


BUY NOTHING DAY

Buy Nothing Day (BND) is a global movement encouraging people not to purchase anything for (at least) one day a year. It began in 1992 as No Shop Day, the brainchild of ad exec Ted Dave, and was taken up by Adbusters and advocates in 35 countries. In the U.S. and Canada, BND falls on the "Black" Friday after Thanksgiving (the start of Christmas shopping); elsewhere BND is the following Saturday. The movement is self-organizing, and motives for participation vary: For some it is a day of reflection, for others a chance to campaign against consumerism.


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
Arthur Miller (1915-2005)

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Play It All Night Long" by Warren Zevon

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Jimi Hendrix born (1942)


TABLE ETIQUETTE #3

Aim at bright and general conversation, avoiding all personalities and any subject that all cannot join in. This is largely determined by the character of the company,. The guests should accommodate themselves to their surroundings.

---A Dictionary of Etiquette: A Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions, Walter Cox Green, 1904


Time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.
C. Northcote Parkinson (1909-93)

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: "Dog Pound Hop" by the Screamin' Lederhosen

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Thanksgiving


TABLE ETIQUETTE #2

Accidents, or anything that may be amiss at the table, should be unobserved by a guest unless he is the cause of it. In that event, some pleasant remark as to his awkwardness should be made and no more. The waiter should attend to the matter at once. If a ford or a spoon is dropped, it should not be picked up by the guest, but another used; the waiter should be asked to provide one.

---A Dictionary of Etiquette: A Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions, Walter Cox Green, 1904


Never eat more than you can lift.
Miss Piggy

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Last Words" by the Austin Lounge Lizards

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Jo DiMaggio born (1914)


TABLE ETIQUETTE #1

It is correct to take a little of all that is offered, though one may not care for it. Bend slightly over the late when carrying the food to the mouth, resuming upright position afterward. When drinking from a cup or glass, raise it gracefully to the mouth and sip the contents. Do not empty the vessel at one draught. Guests should not amuse themselves by handling knife or fork, crumbling bread, or leaning their arms on the table. They should sit back in their chairs and assume an easy position. A guest at a dinner should not pass a plate or any article to another guest, or serve the viands, unless asked to do so by the hostess. Upon leaving the table, push the chair back far enough to be out of the way of others.

---A Dictionary of Etiquette: A Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions, Walter Cox Green, 1904


Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.
Dion Boucicault (c.1822-90)

Current Mood: curious
Current Music: "The W.S. Walcott Medicine Show" by The Band

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Alien Spotlight Volume 2
The second volume of IDW's Star Trek: Alien Spotlight, which includes my Klingon story (with art by JK Woodward), is being released in March 2010. Amazon has it available for preorder.

Thanks to 8 of 5 for the heads-up.

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: "A Man Like Me" by Steve Rosenhaus

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Plenty of fellow writer-types have blogs, and while some of them are on LJ, some of them, oddly, are not. So here are some folks I read who aren't here:

A bunch of writer folks whose blogs you should read........ )

If there's a writer blog that isn't here (and isn't on LJ) that you think I should be reading, let me know in the comments......

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: the Jets-Panthers game on FOX

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Robert Holdstock, author of such magnificent novels as Mythago Wood, has died at the age of 61 after losing a battle with an e coli infection, according to Liz Williams on Facebook.

*raises glass*

Current Mood: sad

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Quiet day today, a good end to the long weekend. I've been -- with assorted friends and family -- to the Cloisters and to the Bronx Zoo this weekend. The zoo has a lot of stuff that's closed for the season, unfortunately -- and Tiger Mountain was closed yesterday, too, dadgummit -- but there was still lots of good stuff to see, including Madagascar and the aquatic birds and such. Plus we rode on the bug carousel....

The Cloisters is also always worth a trip (and a particularly fine place to go on Black Friday, as it's way off the beaten path up in Ft. Tryon Park at the upper end of Manhattan). It's always a joy to see the tapestries and the statues and such. Plus there's a great view of the Hudson River and the George Washington Bridge out on the terrace.

Today I plan to get serious work done on a new Dragon Precinct story I've been working on for Danielle Ackley-McPhail's upcoming Dragon's Lure anthology, and I also have some audio stuff to record for both The Chronic Rift and HG World.

Cha cha cha...

Current Mood: relaxed

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"Someone, somewhere, has attempted to make a vegetarian turducken."
---[info]chris_walsh

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: a documentary on Hair

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According to the Muppet Wiki, there will be more music videos forthcoming akin to the one of "Bohemian Rhapsody" I posted about the other day. The others planned are "Dust in the Wind," "American Woman," "Popcorn," "Carol of the Bells," and "Stand By Me."

I am eagerly anticipating.....

Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: Assassins on Encore

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Got two proposals out, one to an editor, one to my agent (the latter the revision of the mystery), and am 3/4 of the way through another proposal for the same editor. Also went to the Cloisters for the first time in ages, which was lovely as always.

Now I'm gonna watch my latest Netflix movie, Valkyrie, because I am Bryan Singer's bitch............

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: "Edge of Seventeen" by Stevie Nicks w/orchestra

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another review of Farscape #1
Louis Johnson at Fandomania really liked the first issue of the Farscape ongoing series.

Money quote:
This issue manages to balance solid story elements, big revelations, and all the things we’ve come to love about Farscape.

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: the Giants-Broncos game on Channel 11

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A couple managed to crash the state dinner last week. They apparently are reality-show wannabes, and the Secret Service didn't even know they'd crashed until they gloated about it online.

This is not the news you want coming out of the Secret Service charged with protecting the first black president. *facepalm*

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade

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I am thankful for the good stuff.

I am thankful for my readers and my fans and my supporters.

I am thankful for the International Association of Media Tie-in Writers, who saw fit to give me a Lifetime Achievement Award for reasons passing understanding.

I am thankful for artists Will Sliney, Tommy Patterson, Neal Edwards, and Caleb Cleveland, and for my collaborator Rockne S. O'Bannon, who have all been joys to work with on the Farscape comics.

I am thankful for Ross, Chip, Matt, Ian, Mark, Nelson, Johanna, Dafna, Bryce, Neil, Jenny, and the rest of the BOOM! Studios folk, who have made me feel like part of the family.

I am thankful for Lucienne Diver, the bestest agent ever, and for all my editors -- Chris, Cath, Jaime, Marco, Troy, and the rest.

I am thankful for the conventions who have invited me to come and be a guest.

I am thankful for my fellow Boogie Knights, who allow me to continue to enrich my soul with music.

I am thankful for The Chronic Rift, allowing me to babble.

I am thankful for HG World, allowing me to play a right-wing Vietnam-veteran radio host.

I am thankful for David Mack and the rest of the gang who roasted me at Shore Leave, dear friends, all.

I am thankful for Shihan and everyone at the dojo, and I am thankful for my black belt, an accomplishment that means far more than I realized it would.

I am thankful for friends and family and felines.

I am thankful for W and T.

I am thankful for surviving to my 40th birthday.

And I am thankful that this roller-coaster of a year is almost over. *wry grin*

Current Mood: thankful
Current Music: "Please Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone" by Arlo Guthrie

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and now for something you'll really like....
Last week marked the 50th anniversary of The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, thus providing the world with some of the best one-liners, bad puns, and funny voices its ever known.

"Hey, Rock! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!"

GROWL!

"Whoops! Wrong hat...."

"That trick never works!"

Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: "Red Staggerwing" by Mark Knopfler & Emmylou Harris

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Charles Darwin's The Origin of the Species was published (1859)


ON WALKING #3

The LAMBETH WALK is a road in South London that was featured in the 1937 musical Me and My Gal. The song ("Any time you're Lambeth way, / Any evening, any day, / You'll find us all / Doin' the Lambeth walk") was accompanied by a strutting, thumb-jerking dance and the occasional ejaculation of "Oi!"

A 19th-century dance of African-American origin, the CAKEWALK originated when slaves parodied the "genteel" manners of their owners. Dancers would promenade the dance floor, improvising moves, and the most stylish would be awarded a cake.

The Minister of SILLY WALKS (John Cleese) was not at all impressed with Mr. Pudey's (Michael Palin's) silly walk: "It's not particularly silly, is it? I mean, the right leg isn't silly at all and the left leg merely does a forward aerial half turn every alternate step."

To go by WALKER'S BUS, to take teh MARROWBONE STAGE, and to ride SHANK'S PONY are all euphemisms dfor walking.

In shooting parlance, beaters DRIVE or WALK UP to dislodge birds from the undergrowth into the oncoming hail of shot.

To be ordered to WALK SPANISH is to be made redundant, or laid off, as is to be given one's MARCHING ORDERS or WALKING PAPERS.


Technology happens, it's not good, it's not bad. Is steel good or bad?
Andrew Grove (c.1936-)

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?" by Creedence Clearwater Revival

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Back in September, I posted a link to a story about a Census worker in Kentucky who was found hanged with the word "FED" scrawled on his chest.

Well, after an investigation, it turns out that the guy apparently hanged himself.

This is why you don't jump to conclusions. Yeesh.

Thanks to [info]liamstliam for the link.

Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: "Would I Lie to You?" by Eurythmics

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The Chronic Rift Spotlight: Robert Greenberger
The latest episode of The Chronic Rift podcast is John's interview with my good buddy Robert Greenberger, author, editor, raconteur, and all-around good guy. He talks about old projects, new projects, upcoming projects, and even his political career.

The episode is available for download at iTunes, as well as through the Rift web site and through Mevio's Rift page. Please comment on the forums or leave a voicemail at 888-866-9010.

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: "Ruby Tuesday" by the Rolling Stones

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The Muppets do Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Words cannot describe how magnificently perfect this is. The existence of YouTube is worth it solely for this video. As cool as it is when it starts, it keeps getting better. And better. And better.

And the gag at the end... Oh, man....

This is why the Jim Henson Company rocks the whole entire world.

Thanks to [info]puppetmaker40 for the link and for making my day.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: "16 Shells from a Thirty-Ought Six" by Tom Waits

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a guide to the Farscape comics
With Farscape #1 hitting the stands this week, I figured I'd put up a quick guide to the Farscape comics thus far (and what's coming in the immediate future)...

There are currently two sets of comics: the "season 5" comics that pick up where The Peacekeeper Wars left off, which are plotted by series creator Rockne S. O'Bannon; and the "uncharted tales," which so far have just focused on Ka D'Argo in a pre-PKW timeframe.

Here's the whole schmear............ )

Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: "Hangin' Out in Hollywood" by Michael McCloud

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The world's first jukebox was unveiled at the Palais Royale Saloon in San Francisco (1889)


ON WALKING #2

As Dire Straits noted: "And after all the violence and double talk, / There's just a song in all the trouble and the strife. / You do the walk, you do the WALK OF LIFE."

When Australian Aboriginals go WALKABOUT, they return to the bush for a time to escape Westernized life. When members of the royal family go WALKABOUT, they leave the comfort of their cars to shake hands with the hoi polloi.

A baseball hitter gets a WALK to first base if he is pitched foru "balls" or is touched by a pitched ball.

DOBBY'S WALK is the area haunted by a goblin--in the 19th century a "dobbie" was a household sprite or apparition.

When batsmen WALK in cricket, they abandon the crease even before the umpire has given them out. As Brian Close once said: "A batsman who knows he is out should walk. That is the way we play the game."


SIGNULTIENT--sobbing, crying
"She gave an annoyingly singultient Oscar acceptance speech."

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Pig Latin Song" by Leadbelly

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The pirate Blackbeard, aka Edward Teach, was killed off the coast of North Carolina (1718)


ON WALKING #1

To WALK AT ROVER'S is to wander aimlessly with no fixed abode.

As Stern & Stern wrote in their 1992 Encyclopedia of Pop Culture, Michael Jackson's signature MOONWALK "became the single best-known bit of celebrity body language since the four Beatles."

The notion of the WALKING WOUNDED (i.e., prisoners who could make their own way to the medics) originated during the horrors of World War I.

To WALK THE CHALK is a military and police term for pacing along a chalked line to demonstrate one's (in)sobriety. WALK YOUR CHALK! was an instruction to quit one's lodgings. It might originate from the practice of chalking the doors of houses that were to be requisitioned by the army or monarchy.

SLEEPWALKING (also noctambulation or somnabulism) tends to occur in the deep stages of NREM sleep and tends to last from a few minutes to half an hour. During episodes of sleepwalking, individuals are usually able to perform complex motor functions and often have no memory of their actions when they awake.


A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-82)

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: "Rocks on the Road" by Jethro Tull

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who is this guy?
Keith R.A. DeCandido
User: [info]kradical
Name: Keith R.A. DeCandido
Website: DeCandido.net
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