At this point, we're pretty sure the iPhone itself is what's fucked up. After karate tonight, I will be taking a trip down to the Apple Store -- which is open 24/7, and I stand a better chance of quick help at 11pm -- and kicking some shit until I get a phone that works.
I depend on having a phone in order to do my work -- both my writing/editing work and my Census work -- and not having one for two days is patently unacceptable.
Fucknuts.